If you’ve taken the time to click onto this page, that means you’re con­tem­plat­ing shar­ing some­thing with me, or ask­ing me to share some­thing with you. I like shar­ing. I would really like it if you would take the time to fill out the form below and make that con­nec­tion. Maybe we’ll become friends.

Maybe we’ll dis­cover a mutual ani­mos­ity and we’ll become life-long mor­tal ene­mies. We’ll throw our­selves into the work of destroy­ing one another for decades until finally, on our death beds, we real­ize how ridicu­lous it all was, and we reach for the phone to call the other, and we get a busy tone, because through some strange syn­chronic­ity, our last few moments are play­ing out simul­ta­ne­ously, and we have dialed one another at the same exact moment. Even phones in the future can­not con­nect that call. Why doesn’t call wait­ing work? I don’t know, I’m not an expert on the phone sys­tem. Anyway—

So we are dying, bit­ter and full of regret for what we have become: hol­low peo­ple, filled with noth­ing but the sloshy hate for one another, but unable to remem­ber the rea­sons why. But then, just as the dark­ness begins to crowd in, we’ll remem­ber –it was the con­tact form. The con­tact form. THE CONTACT FOR—.…