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Be a Positive Force in Fandom, Not an Asshole

Filed Under: Speculative Fiction, creativity

If there was one thing that drew me in particular to genre fandom as a whole, it was the boundless and unashamed enthusiasm that genre fans had.  Fans loved things, and their passion was worn on their sleeves.  They weren’t ashamed to like science fiction in general, or, say, Star Trek in particular, despite there considerable societal disaproval of such things.  My nerdy ways got me made fun of as much as my big ears, growing up.

Today, with Generation X and Y in full force, there’s been a bit of a shift, I think.  Sarcasm is something our generations prize, as well as a well-cultured sense of irony.  But what’s worse, when combined with those things, is a certain odd form of self-awareness that leads to what I’d like to talk about:

It’s cooler to dislike something than it is to like something today.  It’s more culturally acceptable in my peer groups, particularly online, to express disapproval of something than it is to express enthusiasm.

I’m not against criticism.  It’s only by being critical of art forms that we understand them and learn to improve them.  Thoughtful criticism is a great thing.  So let’s take that off the table of what I’m talking about.  I’m going to talk about how we express our dislike of things, why, and when we do it.

First of all, I think it’s an undeniable trend that being enthusiastic for something is much less of a draw of attention than being highly critical of something, particularly online.  If I write a blog post that is critical of a popular movie, it receives at least twice as many views as if I wrote a glowing recommendation.  It’ll receive twice as many comments too, and often, what comments the glowing recommendation receives are arguments against the opinion.  There are a lot of reasons for this, but in general, I’d like to see us change it in our corner of the web.

I used to be a regular on the blog Metafilter.  We called a certain phenomenon  “your favorite band sucks.”  Whenever anyone expressed an appreciation or an author or a band, five people came along to criticize the author or band.  Here’s where we come to my first rule of the positive fan.

Every expression of appreciation online is not an opportunity for you to voice your disapproval.

It’s fine for you not to like something.  But every time someone else says they like something that you don’t is not the best time for you to piss in the cornflakes of internet commenting.  Every discussion is not a debate on the merits and demerits of something.  In fact, let’s put this out there in plain terms: every discussion online does not have to be and should not be “fair and balanced.”  Know your audience, and know the scene you’re in–will they appreciate your perspective, or will they think you’re just being an asshole?

Which brings me to my next point:

Don’t be an asshole. Remember: everything you criticize is the hard work of a human being with feelings.

Don’t assume that the creator of what you are trashing won’t read it.  It’s the internet.  We’re all supernatural beings that can be summoned by the use of our name thanks to Google.  Don’t be an asshole, and don’t resort to ad hominem attacks.  Be critical of the work, and not the creator.  Every creative act should be encouraged, even if you consider it a failure.  All art is a learning process.

If you must be critical, be specific.

So you have a burning desire to share your disapproval of something and you just can’t be stopped.  Fine.  Leave your critical remark, but here are critcial remarks that do nothing but hurt people:

‘It sucked.”

“Don’t quit your day job”

“I want my [PERIOD OF TIME SPENT] back.”

“Who likes this shit?”

Do you see the trend here?  We’ve all seen these comments.  Most of us have probably left them at some point.    What’s missing here is substance.

You owe your fellow humans to be specific in your criticism. It’s in everyone’s best interests for a creator to improve, and they can’t use your feedback to do that if it doesn’t have any substance.

I assume part of the point of the urge to share our strong dislike of something online, besides the weird Gen-Y/X need to feel cool via disparaging things, is that we can’t stand the idea that someone does like it, and we want to explain to them why their enthusiasm is misplaced.  We’re not going to do that with vague generalities. Be specific, and be polite. Consider sharing our enthusiasm for something else as a counterpoint so others know we’re not just being an asshole for the sake of it.  Is it something we would say to the creator’s face, in person, while they ball their fists and start to turn red?  No?  Dial down the venom, and remember:

All opinions are not equal.  But if you think yours really matters most, you’re probably wrong.

Most people just aren’t going to really care what your opinion of something is, unless they know you.  If you’re a random stranger leaving feedback on a blog, don’t expect your comment to hold any special weight with the other readers or the commenters.  Don’t get increasingly angry when people aren’t swayed to your antagonistic point of view.  Silently mark these people off as morons like you do to every human being you disapprove of, and move on.

Moving on to the Positive Part

Thus far, I’ve really focused on the negative, because I know that’s what is going to get the most attention.  Now that I have it, let’s talk about how we can reverse the trend a little.  As a group, working together with a common goal, I think we can lighten the tone a bit.

If you like something, say so.

Positive, supportive comments are always far outnumbered by the negative ones.  We need to change this, or at least tips the scales back the other way a bit.  If you take nothing else away from this sanctimonious blog post, just listen to  this part.  When you like something, whether that something be a story, a book, a website, a blog post, a podcast, a painting, whatever–when you like something, tell someone.  You can broadcast it on your blog or your twitter. That is awesome.  Or you can go narrowband and leave a comment for the creator or write an email.  Hell, you want to really make someone’s day, send them a snail mail letter.

We as an internet populace have a tendency to be quiet when we’re approving, and save our keystrokes for when we’re angry.  This is wrong, and I think we can change this.  Let’s put the enthusiastic fan back into the mix.  We can’t all hate everything.  Let’s see if we can aim for bringing the positive/negative comment ratio up to 1:1.  And hey–the only thing worse than a bunch of nasty comments and feedback is no feedback at all.  Don’t assume someone else will say something.  Take the initiative and say something yourself.

For a little over a year now, I’ve been making a point of writing authors and letting them know when I’ve really liked something they’ve written.  I write people I know and writers I have never met.  I’m going to start expanding this to other forms.  There’s no reason I have to save my fannish enthusiasm for the printed word.

Now, you may be a major consumer of media, and you might be wondering, how can I possibly send notes to the creators of everything I consume? When it’s something you’ve paid for, I think your money is often appreciation enough.  However, if it’s something you’ve read online for free, and you enjoyed it, I think we should feel obligated to share our positive feedback.  If you want people to keep doing what they’re doing, you need to say so.  Again–don’t assume someone else will do it for you.  We should be as energized to share our enthusiasm as our outrage.

I hope you’ll join me in this-I don’t want to say “movement,” but let’s call it a pseudo-philosophy.   I probably won’t convince the die-hard assholes to stop being assholes, but hopefully I can convince we quiet approvers to speak up more often. I know I’m not perfect, that I’ve been the asshole, but I’m making a concerted effort not to be in the future.

I’m sure there are a lot of criticisms of this post you can make, and you’re welcome to do so in the comments.  Please follow the rules above.  Consider this my new comment moderation policy on my blog.  I hope I don’t have to enforce it.

Comments

Dave Devereux

An excellent post, and an excellent sentiment. Well done, and thank you for saying this!

invisiblepilot

amen – great article

@Micrathene

Very nicely put, and thank you for saying it!

JeremiahTolbert.com » Blog Archive » Be a Positive Force in Fandom …

[...] JeremiahTolbert.com » Blog Archive » Be a Positive Force in Fandom … [...]

Karen Wester Newton

This is nice! I would add to these comments that it is one thing to argue or refute a newspaper or other authoritative post– if you think they got the facts wrong, feel free to point out where– and quite another to merely call someone names for expressing his/her opinions on a personal blog. Yes, blogs are posted on the web, but that doesn’t mean it’s not rude to snipe at the people who write them.

Nadine

I like this.

I’ve done my fair share of trashing other peoples’ stuff, I confess. In hopeful mitigation, it’s been a while since I indulged in trashing something just for the sake of doing so.

I wholeheartedly endorse the idea of a 1:1 bitchery:praise ratio, and I salute you for saying it. I think I’ll spread the word around a bit (hooray for Twitter!)

Twitted by CherylMorgan

[...] This post was Twitted by CherylMorgan [...]

just a geek girl

This needed to be said. I’ve seen too many good things trashed on the internet because of the whole “your favorite band sux” attitude. In fact, I’ve seen blogs and twitter accounts that were based on just that thought. When people respond positively to something the negatives come out in force w/ “you’re just a sheep,” “no sane person would ever like that,” “that’s just stupid,” etc., etc., et al. Some very cool conversations have been derailed because of these trolls. Con crit is a good thing, but if your sole purpose for being on the internet is to let everyone know you think “fill in the blank” sucks, you need your internet connection severed.

Sandy

This is brilliant, and applies to all online communities. I’m not involved in fandom, but I’m heavily involved in free software, and we have all the same problems you’ve brought up, and I think the same solutions apply.

I found this post on twitter, where it’s being shared by a lot of nerds from the free software world. Thanks for writing it!

Mercedes

Excellent, thanks. This conversation has been coming up quite a bit recently.

Adrian Colesberry

Great post. Glad this is going viral on Twitter. I particularly perked up at your words on the lack of commenting when you did like things.

Lauren

Really appreciated this. Hope more people start following this pseudo-philosophy.

Deirdre Saoirse Moen

As an unrepentant Twilight fan, thank you.

Indigo

I’m a big believer in your pseudo-philosophy and have been for a while.

It’s very similar to the Buddhist rede for mindful speech.

Before speaking (or hitting submit on that comment) ask yourself:

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Ideally, what you’re about to say should be 2 of those 3 at least.

Does it improve upon silence? The answer should be yes. If the answer is no, you shouldn’t be speaking/posting.

L. L. Daugherty

Thank you for articulating this. It’s an important reminder, particularly critiqueing the work and not the creator of the work.

Christie

THANK YOU for articulating something that has been bothering me for years. “I don’t like it” =/= “It sucks.”

I hope this ‘movement’ gains steam.

“Well, it’s no harder to be nice than it is to be creepy. And it’s much more fun.” ~ Death (Neil Gaiman’s “Death: the High Cost of Living”)

Nayad Monroe

This is a great thing to read! I like to see positive behavior. Well done. :)

Sewicked

My New Year’s resolution this year was to say ‘thank you’, to the people that would not otherwise know that I like what they are doing. I have emailed my favorite webcomic artists, especially, because they work in what almost amounts to a vacuum. Yes, they can track visitors, but does that really tell them that I like what they’ve done?

It may take a couple minutes; depending on how well the person hid their contact info. But that is all that it takes; a little of my time. And as a bonus, it makes me feel good.

Why, I’m A Pisces, And I Like Your Work, Too! « A Broken Laptop

[...] was abuzz this morning with this particular post by Jeremiah Tolbert.  I’ve never been a Internet flamer, but I sometimes shy away from telling somebody that I [...]

Rhonda

Bravo! I saw a link to this on Facebook. Had to read it. Then *I* linked to on Facebook.

I’m tired of the “You Suck Reviews”.

Rie Sheridan Rose

Excellent post. I think we all should take it to heart. I am generally not one to comment if I DON’T like something, but I need to be more proactive when I DO. Thanks for the reminder. :)

Nar Williams

Very well put, Jeremiah — thanks.

I recently was interviewed for a documentary film about George Lucas where I expressed a similar sentiment — I’ve always thought that being a fanboy/fangirl is about being passionate about something and sharing it with others, not looking for creators to trash.

When/why do you think this phenom started? My guess is the late nineties, when the Phantom Menace shocked the system of fanboys and the internet allowed them to scream about it anonymously.

Criticizing Others « Paige Bruce

[...] it was you, let me know!) Jeremiah Tolbert wrote about criticizing others in a post called, “Be a Positive Force in Fandom, Not an Asshole.” This particular passage really struck me. It’s cooler to dislike something than it is to [...]

Paige Bruce

Hope you don’t mind me linking here from a post on my own website! I think its something that everyone should read.

Jeremiah Tolbert

No, of course not. Link away as much as you like.

Murphy

There’s a desperate need (in Western Culture, maybe just in human being) to be “right”, which means someone else must be “wrong”. Whatever MY opinion is, it must be the RIGHT opinion because it’s MINE, and that means YOURS is WRONG, and in order to get enough gold stars to get into heaven, I must call out all the wrongness and prove my rightness. Also, I must get more people to agree with me any way I can, since that makes me MORE RIGHT and…

Well, you get the idea.

And the easiest way to make sure someone else looks wrong and you look right is to belittle their work, their opinion, their ideas, or them. Sarcasm is a nice weapon, with all the handy subtly of passive-aggression. People often admire something that makes them laugh — even if they are laughing from fear of being the next target, to join in with the herd. Sarcasm combines all this. It also does not require one to examine, explain and defend one’s own opinion — just attack and no one will notice how the “right” opinion is just as flabby as the “wrong” opinion.

It’s hard work to stand by one’s own opinion, especially when we feel like we stand alone.

Jeremiah Tolbert

Nick Mamatas had some very good critical points about this post over here:
http://nihilistic-kid.livejournal.com/1362263.html

Cat Rambo

Nice post, Jeremy.

Lee

Loosely related to this: I notice that it’s much easier for me to accept someone else *not* liking one of my favorite things (book, movie, musical artist, whatever) than it is for me to accept someone else liking something that I think is absolute garbage. If other people have the same reaction pattern, that could reinforce the tendency to argue against things more than for them. And if you become aware of that pattern in your own thinking, it may become easier to let go when you hear someone praising that band that you think sucks, instead of feeling obliged to dive in and present your counter-opinion.

Wolfger

Thank you! You shouldn’t have made it fandom-centric, though. Nonetheless, an excellent essay that I am sharing on Facebook.

Derksen

Heh. So is this the part where I secretly confess that I find “Defying Gravity” actually has potential as good sci-fi, and vaguely reminds me of old Arthur C. Clark ‘group-dynamic-in-space type stories… in spite of its pandering to the 90210 sleep-around crowd?

SF Signal

SF Tidbits for 8/20/09…

Slate finds the graphic novel version of Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 worrisome. [via Locus Online] Interviews & Profiles [some of these via Bibliophile Stalker]:Mur Lafferty interviews Cory Doctorow.Meanwhile, At Your Library video-interviews Cory D…

The Great Geek Manual » Geek Media Round-Up: August 20, 2009

[...] Jeremiah Tolbert urges readers to Be A Positive Force in Fandom, Not An Asshole. [...]

Pete Tzinski

That was a great article, and I agree entirely. I review books now and again (and just generally opinionate on things-I’ve-watched, or read, or listened to) and I find it harder to review something I haven’t enjoyed. Mostly because if I like something, I tend to bubble about it anyway and want to talk about it.

And I think that your final idea, of getting in touch with the creator of the thing you liked is a good idea. I do that now and then. Just last week, I read a short story online that floored me, and sent the author a long and babbling e-mail of unashamed praise.

Um. This probably means I’m a terrible member of Generation X/Y… :)

David E

I think the parts of this essay I agree with are better expressed in Richard K. Morgan here:

http://www.richardkmorgan.com/article_soundfury.htm

David E

BY Richard K. Morgan….man, I really need to proofread before I hit the submit button

David Noceti

Followed Page Bruce’s link to your page over on her post for today http://paigebruce.wordpress.com/2009/08/19/criticizing-others/

I wonder how much of this animosity is related to our day to day interactions in this modern age. So much of our lives are taken up with being talked at and told what we should and should not like, it’s rare that we have an opportunity to say, “No, actually I don’t think just like you say I do.”

But you’re definitely right about not letting it eat us alive and contaminate our thinking. You give some useful tips, thanks for sharing them.

Jason Arnett

A lot of years ago I started standing in lines at comic conventions to tell artists and writers how much I enjoyed their work without asking for a signature. I applaud your sentiment here and thank you, sir, for the fine words you’ve written in this post. I really appreciate them.

Bob

Thank you. This was refreshing!
Isn’t it a sign of the times that people believe their personal opinions, no matter how uninformed, are critically important to others? I think it’s due in large part to consumerism. We are bombarded with advertisements and hype that try to push us into favoring a particular product or service, and so we are forced into continually make positive and negative judgments. The advertisers portray our opinions as incredibly important (because they are to their bottom line), but we’ve developed an over-inflated sense of the value of our approval or disapproval.
Thanks again!

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About Me

Hi! My name is Jeremiah Tolbert, but call me Jeremy. I am a writer, photographer, and web designer currently living in Northern Colorado, seeking either freelance web design work or fulltime employment. Drop me a line if you have any questions, comments, advice, or heckles. I love hearing from new people. If you’re inclined, you can follow me on Twitter, where I share various links and talk about the same things I talk about here, only with fewer characters.

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