I spend a lot of time coming to cold realizations lately, as I approach my 32nd birthday. I used to think anything was possible in my life, but I’ve gotten old enough to admit to myself that’s just not the case in this world. It’s kind of sad, but I guess it means I can focus on what is important.
A short list of my realizations lately:
- I’m not going to discover a way of getting rich for no effort.
- I’m never going to be debt free (see previous rule).
- I’m never going to be famous.
- I’m never going to work for National Geographic.
- I’m never going to work for a video game company.
- I’m never going to be skinny again.
- I’m not going to live forever. (see previous rule).
And these are the up-beat ones…
Anyway, now it’s time to start figuring out more productive uses of my time and energy. I have probably got 25 years left in me if I’m lucky and manage to outlive my father. Might as well make something of them instead of spending all my time frustrated and unsuccessful from having unobtainable goals.
Mate
I’m 15 years older than you but I remember when I had the same thoughts. It can be a slog at times — I’ve been made redundant from my last 4 jobs and spent 3 years of the last 8 unemployed — but it kinda works out in the end.
1. No, you’re not going to discover a way of getting rich for no effort. But if you take time out to look properly, you could end up making a decent living doing something you love, and I didn’t figure that one out till I was 40.
2. You’re never going to be debt free (see previous rule). Well not while you have mortgage, but as long as you can make the payments it’ll be over one day. Anyway, welcome to my world. (See intro)
3. I’m never going to be famous. Never say never, but is it fame you want or would you settle for just the money? Personally I’d rather have stinking rich anonymity but that’s just me. If you want to be famous start working at it. Read ‘Brag’ by Peggy Klaus or ‘Get Slightly Famous’ by Steven Van Yoder (and as his name is Yoder I’d listen to him.… ;-)
4. I’m never going to work for National Geographic. When was the last time you asked them for a job? I never thought I’d work at the BBC but I did (till redundancy struck) and it was, frankly, disappointing. Cool to tell people, not so cool in practice. right now I have pretty much my dream gig and it’s taken me till my late 40s to get there so it can happen.
5. I’m never going to work for a video game company. I’ve done this and, like working in a guitar store (which I also did) it’s a young person’s job. Not because older folk can’t hack it but because you get treated like shit, paid fuck-all and you are surrounded by middle-aged men in suits and ponytails. Only young people will put up with that kind of shit and even then only till they know better and they move on to TV/Movies. Playing games is way more fun than making them.
6. I’m never going to be skinny again. Bollocks. I dropped 45lbs in 8 months and I am one lazy muthafucker. Fill your iPod with audiobooks and podcasts and go out walking (oh, and take a digital recorder with you, in case the muse strikes) and as long as you stop eating shit food and stuffing it in you like there’s no tomorrow the weight will fall off. Ask Stephen Fry.
7. I’m not going to live forever. (see previous rule). Can’t help you there, but you have 40–50 years left to realise some of this stuff and that’s being conservative given advances in medical technology.
Dunno what brought this current malaise on and I feel for you I really do, but take some time off, take stock, make a plan and — while you might not realise all of your dreams — you’ll definitely get your life back on track and that’s way better than a lot of folk’ll ever do.
Cheers!
Rob
Old friend, for what little it is worth: you’re already famous to me. I take pride in knowing you, and have been known to brag about how awesome you are from time to time.
Yes. And no. Depends on frame of mind.
Forget fame, micro-fame is where it’s at: http://www.oblomovka.com/entries/2004/08/08
Personally I’m holding out hope for genetically engineered life extension, just need to get those scientists working harder…
I pondered this post for a whole day now, it’s easy for me to sympathize with these types of posts from you; I share similar demons–feel similar raw feelings, and this familiarity makes me HATE these posts! I pondered all day about whether to write a big exposition, or say what I really-want-to-say with brevity, I’m going to go with the short-n-sweet of it:
I think you are wonderful: talented, accomplished, inspiring, and veritably real. I want nothing more than for you to agree with me on these points someday. Think it. Believe it. And know that I am not alone when I say these things.
I actually have to object to #3.
You are a published author, visible and oft-mentioned editor of a well-respected and well-known podcast and you are often spoken highly of by your peers in the industry. You may not be famous in the “Michael Jackson” type of fame but you are already quite famous among those with whom you circulate.
I, quite honestly, feel all tingly and get the “Ooo ooo I know him! My husband is his and his wife’s friend and we stayed at their house that one time by invitation” tingles when I hear your stories read on EscapePod or StarShipSofa and other places like that. Seriously, I really do get those “I know someone famous tingles, and I think I’m entirely justified in feeling that way.
So don’t you go devaluing my tingles! Just don’t, y’hear! Sheesh.
1. Doesn’t exist.
9. Doesn’t exist yet.
3. Fame sucks. Wrecks people.
4–6. Why not?
4. Working at National Geographic is both much harder and much easier than you think. There’s no reason to rule this one out out of hand. What do you want to do for them? (I will note this does become far easier if you actually live in DC.)
5. I know less about video game companies, but I’ve worked with some. People who work at video game companies are not superhuman.
6. Pish. That is my only comment.