10 Ways to Have a More “Interesting” Convention Experience
Filed Under: Speculative Fiction, Writing Advice
I am not attending WorldCon (AKA Anticipation) this year. Last year was great, and I met a lot of really interesting new people, and got to meet some people in the flesh for the first time like John Joseph Adams (whose collection The Living Dead was nominated for a World Fantasy Award this week! Congratulations are in order). Why am I not going? Well, there’s the financial reasons of course, but there’s also a little dispute I had with the Canadian Border Control back in 1986 involving the illegal importation of furry porn. I’m not allowed to talk about it, but suffice to say, I can only travel to Canada under pseudonyms such as Harrison T. Merriweather. And now I can’t use that one. Canada’s agents are everywhere.
It’s rather too easy for the seasoned con veteran to end up in a bit of a rut when it comes to cons. “Find a seat in the bar and leave only for your panels” seems to be the writer/editor/publisher’s way. I think they sometimes actually take in food in a solid form over the course of the convention, but I have no evidence of this.
I’ve decided, as a service to the convention goer, to provide this helpful list of activities you can participate in to make your convention-going experience that much more interesting.
- In a very public space, ask Gord Sellar to imitate his Quebec-born mother. (The resulting mob will give you all the exercise you need for the week).
- Dress up as a polyp and jump out at Jay Lake every time you see him, yelling “Boo!”
- Squeeze Harlan Ellison’s boob.
- Walk up to Tempest, and whisper, in a nervous voice. “I see black people.”
- Go to a Gordon van Gelder panel and stand up to ask a question. Congratulate him on finally breaking down and accepting electronic submissions and start a standing ovation. Then flee. (Also, scratch F&SF off your submissions list)
- Treat everyone in cosplay as you would treat their actual character. Run in terror from stormtroopers. Try to rescue Slave Girl Leia. Laugh and point at Klingons.
- Ask Ted Chiang to tell you about the cover of his collection. (Only do this if you have 4 hours of time you need to kill).
- Find Cory Doctorow. Secretly replace his iPod with a Zune.
- Dress up as the ghost of Robert Heinlein and demand royalties from John Scalzi all weekend.
- When they announce the John W. Campbell Award for best new writer, race to the podium, snatch the award, and smuggle it home to ME.
Anyone else have any ideas to make those lucky folks attending WorldCon have a more “fun” time?
Comments
08-05-2009
Of course authors eat solid food. Half the reason I go to conventions is so editors will buy me meals nicer than I can afford on my own!
08-05-2009
Pics or it didn’t happen, Tim.
08-05-2009
The one I have to add is “Walking up to S.D. Perry, K.W. Jeter, and all of the other ‘I’m playing in George Lucas’s and Gene Roddenberry’s universe’ Star Trek and Star Wars novelists and asking ‘So how’s that working out for you?’” (That’s right up there with asking Bruce Sterling “What happened with Y2K?”)
08-05-2009
I think I shall roll my d10 and let fate decide which one I do.
08-05-2009
Hey, it’s like Call Of Cthulhu. “Roll for random insanity”
08-05-2009
Like Cory would have an iPod. He only listens to music on a homebrew OGG player, hidden inside a copy of The Cathedral and the Bazaar and running Linux. The music is all creative-commons licensed Balkan folk songs, but you wouldn’t know since it’s still encrypted when it comes out the headphones. He keeps the private key in a small chip in his eustacian tube.
08-05-2009
Hahaha! Okay, Grant, point taken.
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