Why I hate Elves, Dwarves, Dragons, and…
Filed Under: Speculative Fiction, Writing Advice
Why I hate Elves, Dwarves, Dragons, and…
(This is a very tongue-in-cheek entry.)
It’s no secret to regular readers that I loathe so-called generic fantasy. And it is generic, in a very supermarket-product sense. Generic fantasy is a pale imitation of someone else’s original product. It is the yellow box that says CEREAL on the bottom shelf.
Most generic fantasy is wholesale intellectual thievery from J.R.R. Tolkien. Yes, he himself built his world based on mythology, and I am aware that one of his goals was to create a mythology for England. But that does not earn lazy authors any points with me if they write using his basic world-building elements. I don’t care if your elves are doing something nontraditional, like building and racing high performance race cars. I don’t care if they are detectives, paired up with a gruff but lovable dwarf who chomps cigars and quips about unsolved cases. You’re still relying mostly on the hard work that Tolkien did for your characterization and world building.
Stop being so lazy and make up your own worlds! China Mieville, you get an A from me. Even if I didn’t like Un Lun Dun very much (understandable, being a children’s book).
The same goes for you bloody adults that read this stuff. It’s forgivable in the habits of a D&D playing teenager, but you should know better. You’re deliberately impoverishing your brain by reading this stuff. Put down the Robert Jordan and back away slowly. The Sword of Shanara has been read plenty enough times. Terry Brooks, you have your money. Let’s lock all the copies in a big vault and forget about it for a few centuries.
It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even see Tolkien’s work clearly. I am sure he did something impressive and new, once upon a time, but I cannot view his work without looking through the lens created by the garbage that has followed it. I might have been a fan if I hadn’t been exposed to everything that came afterwards. I do enjoy the Hobbit, I guess, but it’s by no means my favorite fantasy novel.
I guess what I am trying to say is, if you write and sell a book that involves a reluctant, small-sized hero being tasked to steal something for the Bigger Folk and facing Mighty Danger, receiving help along the way from the lithe, tall, and earthy people with pointed ears and high chin bones, it gives me the right to punch you in the gonads. You have been warned.
Now I’m off to write up that dwarf-and-elf-they-solve-crime! story.
Comments
05-16-2008
I think I’ve made this same point, but more focused on magic. I hate it when generic fantasy has generic magic of pointing a stick and saying something vaguely vulgar Latin.
Or much worse, when magic is just some psychic force that’s harnessed by concentrating really hard. I feel that magic, and even psionics, needs to be demonstrated to the reader as something other than wishing hard and chanting a word. Unless the writer really wants to suggest that magic is just prayer but where god-like beings actually intervene . . . but that creates bigger narrative issues.
05-19-2008
Come on, Tolbert - all media by its nature cannot help but to be derivative from that which has gone before. It is as you say - even Tolkien never claimed to be original, merely remixing and organizing the creatures of the fantastic documented by prior authors. Perhaps doing so is lazy, but the established tropes of any genre are inevitably a time-saving device for a later author. This means that at some level the work may be unoriginal, but these assumptions and prejudices that we bring to the table may allow for deeper exploration of the subject matter - or the pleasant surprise we find when our expectations are defeated by a clever author’s novel spin on a traditional concept.
Sure, we know that tall and skinny folks with pointed ears are liable to be pretentious and live for a long time - but what does this agelessness do to their psyche or their interaction with their children? Just why is it that they have such a difficult relationship with the short and stocky bearded folks of the world? Why is their physiology thus, and what does their low birth-rate imply for the ecology of a given world? Why is their technologically powerful society in decline? Why have they developed a magic system that is so distinct from that of other peoples? Are they exploiting different properties of the same physical laws in your magical world, or do they actually access a different source for their power?
Remember: they don’t have to be elves trapped in a traditional fantasy realm to still be elves. Star Trek has long had Space Elves and Space Orks, even if Mr. Roddenberry called them by different names.
07-01-2008
my suggesting is that if you want to put the typical fantasy creatures in a story- add a twist to the races that make them still similar to the expectations of readers, yet different. I would also like to point out that you are most likely a mediocre author at most. if you knew how to write really good then i would have probably heard your name before. all I am saying is don’t go and give out advice to other people when your not exactly J.K rowling.
07-01-2008
Actually- I take back the part about you not being a good author. I was thinking, and realized that i shouldn’t say that, especially when i am not even a writer.
Thank you for your suggestions above- i will take them into consideration since i am sure that many people agree with you (as do I)
07-01-2008
Let’s work on your comment, shall we? It’s full of bad grammar and poor sentence structure. Here’s my suggested edits:
“My suggestion is that if you want to use the typical fantasy creatures in a story, you should add a twist on the old idea. Also, completely tangentially to my point and because I am an angry little kid with nothing better to do, I have assumed that you are a mediocre author at best, primarily because I have never heard of you. While that speaks more to my ignorance than it does to your actual quality of writing, which I have never read, all I am saying is, you shouldn’t give advice to sniveling brats like me who don’t understand the difference between opinion and fact. Also, J.K. Rowling is the best author I can think to evoke when talking about writing. So, you should probably not pay attention to me.”
Your comment gets a C-. Try harder next time.
07-01-2008
Now, now. You don’t have to be a writer to evaluate someone’s writing abilities. My suggestions are just that–suggestions. Don’t take anything you read around here too seriously. I’m not trying to tell you what to like. I’m just talking about what I like.
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