20 May 2013

Describing The Problem With the First 20 Minutes of Star Trek: Into Darkness

We saw the new Star Trek movie. I liked it as a movie.  I enjoyed it about as much as the first one.  But it has prob­lems.  Big problems.

Here be spoilers.

Io9 has a really good FAQ that takes the movie to task for some of its more dense deci­sions.  It really focuses on that first open­ing away team mis­sion. The more I think about the start of that movie, the less I like it.

Here’s how it reads to me:

It’s like some­one watched an away team mis­sion from the orig­i­nal series, but dubbed in a lan­guage they don’t speak.  They kind of under­stood there was some­thing was bad about directly inter­act­ing with alien natives, but they weren’t sure why.  They saw the move­ment, the ten­sion of the sit­u­a­tion, and the char­ac­ters and the ship.  But they didn’t under­stand word one of dia­logue.  It was just peo­ple doing stuff in neat cos­tumes with some weird effects.  They didn’t under­stand the spirit of the idea.  And then they wrote their own ver­sion of that.

To put it another way, it’s like some­one try­ing to build a space shut­tle from a col­lec­tion of parts with only a photo of one in flight to go by as direction.

The new Star Trek, espe­cially in the open­ing scene, is a pithed frog. All twitch, no brain.

I’m not even going to get into the race-​​bending con­tro­versy. I agree with what oth­ers have said 100%.

And that’s what I have to say about a movie I actu­ally enjoyed.  Can you imag­ine what I say about movies I hate?

14 May 2013

State of Jeremy Quarter One, 2013

It’s been a stress­ful year so far.  I’ve accom­plished some things.  Some things I have not.  Some things are in the works.

  • The SFWA redesign, the biggest project of the year so far, has launched.  It’s been gen­er­ally well received.  We have more work to done.  Websites are never done; they’re just abandoned.
  • Despite the hard work above, I’ve man­aged to read fif­teen books so far this year.
  • I’ve also caught three fish.  Tasty crappie.
  • I’ve writ­ten three sto­ries, with more hope­fully to come.  I’m still strug­gling to find my cre­ative energy lately.  I’m hop­ing the sum­mer work­shop at KU really leads to me click­ing with the writ­ing again.
  • I’m doing world build­ing and pre­lim­i­nary script­ing for a fan­tasy web comic that could be pretty excit­ing if it goes well.  I’ll be work­ing with the fine folks over at Outland Entertainment on that.
  • Planning, research, and design work for Stranger Creek has been mov­ing along slowly.  Something’s not quick click­ing into place.  I’m not sure what it is yet.  Oh–maybe a plot?  Plots really are my weak­ness as a writer.  Good to know at least.
  • Dieting has not gone well so far but I still have hope.  I’m start­ing back up again this week after aban­don­ing it a month or two back dur­ing a nasty cold.
  • We’ve started look­ing for homes around Lawrence.  We even sub­mit­ted paper­work for a loan.  Who knows how that’s going to go — banks are often very con­fused by self-​​employed people.
  • The trans­mis­sion went out on our Alero.  $1300 to fix, min­i­mum.  So that hurts.  We’ll live, but it means vaca­tion plans for the sec­ond half of June prob­a­bly need to be scaled down. Probably need to do a stay-​​cation (what a hor­ri­ble sound­ing word), espe­cially if we move for­ward with buy­ing a house.
  • I’m still alive.  I’m still here, despite the best efforts of an opos­sum a cou­ple of days ago.   Here’s hop­ing the year keeps get­ting better.

09 May 2013

A Youth Serum for Hearts

Here & Now on NPR had an inter­view today with a researcher who has been look­ing into ways to fight heart dis­ease.  They’ve iden­ti­fied a very promis­ing pro­tein called GDF-​​11 that was able to take old hearts in mice and return them to a youth­ful state:

Dr. Richard Lee, direc­tor of regen­er­a­tive med­i­cine at Brigham and Women’s Hospital, and Amy Wagers, of the Department of Regenerative Biology at Harvard, made the dis­cov­ery when they were work­ing with younger and older mice.

They took an older mouse with the most com­mon form of human heart fail­ure and merged the mouse’s blood stream with that of a healthy young mouse using a Siamese twin tech­nique known as para­bio­sis. They found that the older mouse’s dis­eased heart was able to reverse to a younger health­ier condition.

Six years out from human use is actu­ally quite fast, as I under­stand it.  The actual research paper can be found here. The results look pretty promis­ing from what I understand.

I don’t care about the eth­i­cal issues of liv­ing for­ever.  Get this in me as soon as possible.

22 April 2013

More Stranger Creek Scheming

Today I’ll talk more about the ancil­lary work I’m plan­ning around my per­sonal media empire called “Stranger Creek Stories.”

First of all, there will be the stories/​novellas/​novels, sold elec­tron­i­cally pri­mar­ily via Amazon to take advan­tage of their great deals, but prob­a­bly with some other etail­ers later on.  The debate about the appro­pri­ate­ness of giv­ing Amazon so much con­trol is for another time.

The next two aspects will be a hand­ful of social media pres­ences for a cou­ple of char­ac­ters you’ll see pop­ping up reg­u­larly.  I aim to build a city Facebook web­site, real web­site, and a news­pa­per web­site also.  These pages will all con­tain ancil­lary mate­r­ial to keep fans occu­pied and reminded while they’re wait­ing for the next piece to come out.

I’ll also be doing merch plans, just in case.  Because the sto­ries are grounded in a real fake city, I can sell city merch just like a real city does.  So soft­ball league t-​​shirts, t-​​shirts for the city, mouse pads, and so on.

I want Stranger Creek the kind of town you can crawl inside and look around at its weird­ness from dif­fer­ent angles. I want it to feel like it’s alive even when you’re not vis­it­ing it via your Kindle.  The ebooks will ref­er­ence and link to the exter­nal mate­ri­als as well, so the lines should blur nicely by the time it’s all up and running.

I don’t know if any of that will help me sell copies.  Probably not, ulti­mately.  But it’s the kind of fun stuff that I like to do, so I’m gonna do it.   Fun is the name of the game here, not profits.

19 April 2013

The Force is Empathy

I’ve been think­ing about empa­thy today, and how it relates to the Force.

(In case you had any doubts about how much of a geek I am, let them be ban­ished henceforth).

Yoda and the Emperor talk about how the Dark Side is a con­stant temp­ta­tion, some­thing that is there, and I always found that a lit­tle bit hard to believe.  The right thing to do is usu­ally pretty clear, and while I can get angry like any­one else, or fear­ful, those things don’t nec­es­sar­ily lead to me cut­ting peo­ple in half with a light saber.

But today, in light of cur­rent events, I was think­ing about empa­thy, and how empa­thy is really the force that binds peo­ple together or tears them apart.  Empathy is that human capac­ity to see things from another’s point of view and maybe not agree with it, but at least under­stand it bet­ter, and to–often but not ALWAYS–sympathize with it.

Sympathy with evil acts is to be dis­cour­aged, though.  We don’t believe in sym­pa­thiz­ing with mur­der­ers and ter­ror­ists.  To do so is con­sid­ered morally wrong, but I won’t get into the details of that.  Hence, empathiz­ing with those who  have acted hor­rif­i­cally, is  con­sid­ered rep­re­hen­si­ble also, but to a less overtly stated degree.

The temp­ta­tion is ever there to give up empa­thy.  Hatred and fear lead to a loss of empa­thy, to other-​​izing those we have scorn for. Stripping them, in essence, of their per­ceived humanity.

The temp­ta­tion is there because it’s eas­ier to com­part­men­tal­ize our hor­ror at their actions if we con­sider them unlike our­selves.  Few want to believe that the capac­ity for evil exists within all of us, and can be brought out under the right cir­cum­stances.  Far eas­ier, I think, to think they are fun­da­men­tally flawed, to act that way.

I believe the capac­ity for mur­der exists in all of us.  The idea itself to me seems like a rel­a­tively mod­ern moral con­struct any­way,  in some senses.  I mean, some­one felt the need to write it down as a rule at one point in Judeo Christian tra­di­tion, so that makes me thing we haven’t always been too clear on the moral wrong­ness of it.

To really bru­tal­ize oth­ers, we must aban­don our empa­thy for them, at least tem­porar­ily.  And there is always that temp­ta­tion, in the wake of bru­tal­ity, to aban­don empa­thy and replace it instead with a desire for vengeance

The harder path, the less nat­ural one, is to forgo vengeance .  To main­tain empa­thy, while with­hold­ing sym­pa­thy.  Seek rea­son and mean­ing in the act, while still condemning.

I heard some­one argu­ing on the radio the other day that vengeance is nat­ural, and that our denial of it is wrong.  They argued that the pre­cise­ness of law in “eye for an eye” is actu­ally there to pre­vent dis­pro­por­tion­ate vengeance.  An eye for an eye and no more, they said.  Which I found fas­ci­nat­ing, even if I’m not sure I agree with the entire premise.

Ultimately, today, I under­stand a lit­tle bet­ter now why the fic­tional Jedi have such a hard line to walk, as I strug­gle with my feel­ings and reac­tions, the bal­ance between a desire to main­tain my empa­thy for humans, and my desire to dis­card it, to harden myself, to ignore the dark voice inside.

16 April 2013

A Solution For WordPress Multisite Broken Images

I had some issues recently with a mul­ti­site install of WordPress fail­ing to load any images for a sec­ondary site.  The images would load broken.

If this hap­pens to you, check for the pres­ence of an .htac­cess file in the wp-​​includes/​ folder.  In my case, the Sucuri one-​​click secu­rity hard­en­ing tool had put a rule deny­ing PHP access, which pre­vents the redi­rect method that mul­ti­site uses for clean image urls from work­ing prop­erly.  Understandable for the most part, but annoy­ing until you really parse apart what’s going on. The 404 WordPress spits out is less than helpful.

Hopefully I can get this this to rank high in Google so oth­ers will avoid the same prob­lem, which inci­den­tally cost me approx­i­mately two hours of trou­bleshoot­ing today.

What do I believe?

I have been think­ing a lot about belief lately.  In light of yesterday’s hor­ri­ble events, and sim­ply because my brain is wrapped around writ­ing lately, and I wish to be good at it.   I am cursed with a cer­tain ambiva­lence regard­ing belief.  Which is a prob­lem because from what I have read, deep belief in some­thing appears to be a cru­cial to the careers of writers.

I am eas­ily per­suaded by a well-​​formed argu­ment.  I might think I believe some­thing, but it doesn’t take much to dis­lodge me from my posi­tion.  The more I respect the per­son intel­lec­tu­ally, the more likely I am to let them sway my views.

There are a few core polit­i­cal things that I don’t seem to sway from (but believe I would if I heard the argu­ment that con­vinced me).  I think lib­er­als care about peo­ple in my sit­u­a­tion more than con­ser­v­a­tives.  I think unchecked cap­i­tal­ism is bad for the aver­age peo­ple.  I think that true democ­racy is a strong foun­da­tion for a gov­ern­ment, but it should be adapt­able and we shouldn’t wor­ship found­ing doc­u­ments.  I think that if it hap­pens between two con­sent­ing adults, it is not the busi­ness of any­one else.  I think that all peo­ple are equal in the eyes of law.

I don’t have reli­gious beliefs.  Nothing has per­suaded me in that regard, and I’ve read and searched far and wide for reli­gious beliefs that rang true to me.  The clos­est I have ever got­ten was Buddhism, but I don’t seem to be able to give up my attach­ments.  I like my attach­ments.  They bring me as much plea­sure as they do suffering.

Dig a lit­tle deeper, and yI find that I believe all life is beau­ti­ful. Even spi­ders and snakes (espe­cially them!).  That feel­ing you get when you go to church (if you are reli­gious)?  I feel that in the rain­for­est or on the prairie in spring.   Forests are my chapels.  To see a crea­ture liv­ing wild fills me with awe.    Whatever that thing is that causes peo­ple to recoil in hor­ror at a weird insect or poi­so­nous ani­mal, I lack that–in fact, I was born with­out it, I believe.  My mother can attest to my bio­philia even when I was an infant crawl­ing around, chas­ing wild rab­bits before I could even walk.

And yet I’m a meat eater.  Full of con­tra­dic­tions, I guess.

I used to con­sider myself an ardent envi­ron­men­tal­ist, but I saw that bat­tle was lost before I was even born.  Humans and their short term needs inher­ently out­weigh all else in our civ­i­liza­tion.  Logging, min­ing, frack­ing, whatever–if we need it, and it kills wildlife, destroys habi­tat, it’s going to be killed and destroyed in the end.   Environmentalism seems like wasted effort these days.  As does any kind of fight against global cli­mate change.

But really, polit­i­cal beliefs, beliefs in sci­en­tific the­o­ries such as evo­lu­tion or global cli­mate change–those are not the kinds of deep beliefs that a writer needs in order to have some­thing to express.

Are peo­ple fun­da­men­tally good or bad?  I don’t know.  Which day of the week is it?

Do you believe in con­cepts of good and evil? I don’t know.  Sometimes.

What is the mean­ing of life?  I don’t know.  I’m not sure there is one.

Before the Recession, I cared a lot more.  Maybe it was a mat­ter of youth, or maybe I expe­ri­enced a con­trac­tion of my sphere of care.  The strug­gle to sur­vive after every­thing that hap­pened reduced what mat­tered to me to my imme­di­ate fam­ily and friends.  Perhaps a win­now­ing away of friv­o­lous beliefs is a nat­ural con­se­quence of grow­ing older. It’s a cliche, but the older I get, the more I real­ize how lit­tle I know.

So I spend a lot of time think­ing lately: what do you believe, Jeremy?  What mat­ters to you?  Thinking that if I could just find some­thing that sparks my fires, that I’d find more mean­ing in my work.  I don’t have answers.  But I believe there’s value in seek­ing them–not sure for my writ­ing, but for being a well-​​lived human being.

13 April 2013

The Annual “Stranger Creek vs. Stranger Creek” Softball Series

Stranger Creek has an annual soft­ball game that is a pretty big deal, and it dates back to the 1950s as a tra­di­tion. July 17th-​​19th, every year since 1957, the town hosts itself in a three game soft­ball game series.

The rivalry between Stranger Creek and Alt-​​Stranger Creek goes back a long ways. Near as any­one can tell, the only dif­fer­ence between the two uni­verses is a reverse on facial hair (if you have it here, your alt doesn’t have it there). This has led to a long-​​standing feud over which uni­verse is the “evil” universe.

Every game is scru­ti­nized on this basis. Steal a base? “You guys are the evil uni­verse!” Start a drunken fight at the con­ces­sion stand? Those evil Stranger Creek jerks! Both sides argue con­stantly about which uni­verse a par­tic­u­lar game is being played in (clearly the answer is “both” but that never stops anybody).

At the end of the series, the two uni­verses unalign and every­body goes back to the sum­mer activ­i­ties. Well, except for that one year the widow Jenny Thompson tried to cross over… but we’ll talk about that more another time.

11 April 2013

Populating Stranger Creek

I worked on some char­ac­ter devel­op­ment as I drove around doing a few errands this morn­ing.  Sometimes, the car is the best place to get pre-​​writing done.

I know that I need an ani­mal con­trol per­son in Stranger Creek for the story I’m plot­ting. And I had a vague idea of mak­ing him a were­wolf but that seemed too easy.  Then I thought… you know what would be funny? A guy in a place like this who works with wild ani­mals prob­a­bly gets bit­ten a lot. Which prob­a­bly means he gets all kinds of dis­eases, includ­ing all the lycan­thropic ones.

So at last count, Wilfred the Animal Control guy has 6 dif­fer­ent lycan­thropies, all of which keep to dif­fer­ent sched­ules (not every species has such a close rela­tion­ship with the moon). Wilfred keeps a very detailed calendar.

I pic­ture the poor man as lanky and awk­ward, and pos­sess­ing great fear of hav­ing any kind of con­tact at all with wild ani­mals. He loves his job because he loves serv­ing the com­mu­nity.  So rather than quit, he keeps try­ing out pro­gres­sively cra­zier pro­tec­tive gear (bear armor) to avoid being bit­ten (which of course rarely works).

I know I’m on to some­thing when I start laugh­ing sym­pa­thet­i­cally at my own char­ac­ter notions.

This place is going to be so much fun to write about.

10 April 2013

The Bitterness Trap

My mother has often warned me against turn­ing into my father.

My father was sub­sumed by bit­ter­ness at times in his life.  He was often angry that things hadn’t turned out just right, not that he ever really talked about the details or the dreams he had.  All I really ever knew was that he didn’t want to work.  What he would have done instead, I have no idea.

At some point early in life, per­haps in his mid-​​20s, he grew bit­ter about his per­ceived fail­ures, my mother says, and that was one of the many rea­sons they got divorced when I was a kid. He let the bit­ter­ness over­take him and change who he was.  He was not happy any­more; he was, in the words of Soul Coughing, Mr. Bitterness.

I remem­ber my father as a man who could have a wicked sense of humor and did find joy in things from time to time, but he was indeed very often fum­ing about some­thing.  I often felt like he would turn that anger at me as I grew older; I espe­cially remem­ber that he would pick on me for weird things on the dri­ves to and from col­lege on the hol­i­days. I was always relieved to go back to school in those days; absolutely befud­dled why he would behave that way, and pretty hurt by it.  I think per­haps he was bit­ter about how he never went to col­lege; partly my fault, given that I came along unex­pect­edly and changed his plans. I don’t think he con­sciously blamed me, but per­haps subconsciously.

Most of that bit­ter­ness bled away in his ill­ness, but it took fac­ing death for him to change that.  In the end, I felt noth­ing but love from him.  But I’ve always feared fol­low­ing in his foot­steps in that regard.

I recently read an award-​​nominated story by a very pop­u­lar and very suc­cess­ful young author who,  to exter­nal appear­ances, has come out of nowhere to win instant acclaim.  An author with clear, immea­sur­able tal­ent in every­thing the author writes.

I read the story, which was beau­ti­ful, sad, and mean­ing­ful.  At the end, I hated the author more than I have hated any­one.  I wanted to hurt the author some­how, find some way of insult­ing them, dig beneath their skin and tear at them with sharp words.

The reac­tion star­tled me even as I had it and even rev­eled in it.  “Fuck that per­son, ” I thought.  “Fuck them and their nat­ural tal­ent.  Some of us have to strug­gle to get 1/​10th as good. 1/​100th as good!”  And on and on I went. I googled them, look­ing for some flaw to make myself feel bet­ter. I was mon­strous, and find­ing no flaws, I grew only more angry.

Of course I have no idea how hard said author strug­gles.  Although I sus­pect not very much, judg­ing from said author’s amaz­ing out­put.  But it doesn’t matter.

The bit­ter­ness trap is a dan­ger­ous one because it’s a trap of our own devis­ing, a trap that in ways we delib­er­ately and self-​​destructively set for our­selves out of a mix­ture of jeal­ousy and high expectations.

Even as I felt it, I knew that the per­son I am angry with is not the tal­ented author.  I’m angry at myself for learn­ing that some­one else has lived up to my own expec­ta­tions for myself where I have failed to do so.  That anger comes with a heavy dose of bit­ter.  What is bit­ter­ness if not an anger at the things that can­not and have not been?  An anger at lost pos­si­bil­i­ties.  Impossibilities, perhaps.

Extraordinarily high expec­ta­tions are moti­va­tors, but I think now that they come with an inher­ent risk of bit­ter­ness traps.  It’s all well and good to expect more from your­self than you rea­son­ably think you can deliver, up until you dis­cover that some­one else can and does deliver that, and with seem­ing ease.  Before you know it, you’re tum­bling into a pit full of acid.

My father wanted more.  But I never felt like he know more of what.  And he never had plans for how to get it, really.  I’ll never be as good as I wanted to be, as I dreamed of being.  I can only improve incre­men­tally and for­give myself for not being made the way I would like to have been made.

As I grow older, I’m dimin­ish­ing my expec­ta­tions for myself because I don’t want to be be bit­ter.  I don’t want to react to forged beauty with jeal­ousy for the maker.  I must acknowl­edge my imper­fec­tions, my poverty of skill, and accept them for what they are.

I may not be a great man. I may not have a hid­den well of tal­ent that I have yet to tap into.  I  will likely never astound the world with my genius or depth of perception.

I am a jeal­ous, greedy, hate­ful, self­ish, and despi­ca­ble crea­ture. Sometimes. I can also be kind, witty, car­ing, friendly, maybe even decent.  Sometimes also.

I may not be a great man pos­sess­ing great qual­i­ties, but I can pride myself on being smart enough to see a mis­take that my Dad made before me.  Maybe I am just clever enough to not fall in the trap and stay there.  I’m not great, but I’m just a lit­tle bit improved upon him in that regard. I can get out of the trap.

I made it, after all.

I’m pretty sure my dad would be proud of that.